Joy, Tears and Dallas Willard

I don’t cry often. When my tears fall, I take my wife's advice and pay attention to these tiny messengers. This past Monday was a typical day until I randomly watched a Dallas Willard video clip. The topic was joy. 

The four-minute video was a Dallas Willard being interviewed by John Ortberg. The conversation explored God being joyous and how we might daily interact with this reality (here's the full thirty-minute interview.)

Toward the end of the short clip, Dallas said plainly that joy was consistent with sorrow. He was a brilliant mind and these snippets are great content for the intellectual mind AND as it turns out, a tender invitation for my heart. 

At the time of the interview, Dallas was undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer which would months later take his physical life. It was towards the end of the video where Dallas wraps up with a profound descriptions of joy when one might transition from this world to the next. His voice cracked and tears welled up for him… and tears welled up for me.

Why did such emotion rise up for me on this ordinary Monday?Why do I long for such joy of the Father, Son and Spirit?

My answer: I’m not 100% sure.

It could be that I’m turning 50 this summer and I'm sentimental about what really matters.

Maybe the condition of the world and its brokenness was profoundly confronted by this idea that"God is joyful and everything will be okay under his reign."

The tears could've been a small grief for missing one of my favorite literary mentors. Dallas' books have deeply impacted me over the years. He was passionate about reinvigorating the true meaning of discipleship. 

I am in such a special position to listen, teach and mentor people in Greensboro and beyond. The tears may have flowed because my pain can be transformed into a gift of presence to others. 

All of that to say, my tearful response to Dallas was a combination of these things.  Regardless, my heart is becoming more tender and full in believing that:

“Joy is consistent with sorrow because it is a realization with what is really going on in the world at large under God.” 

On Monday night I shared with Emily about watching the video and shedding the tears. She turned and said to me, "Did you know that today marks 10 years since Dallas died?!"

What?! I was shocked. So many people were also remembering Dallas that day.

Emily said to me, "Sometimes we know what we don't know." It was like the Spirit just wanted me to join others to remember a great man of God and take a small step of transformation. 

Outwardly, it was an ordinary Monday but inwardly I was surprised by encouragement.

Thank you for reading.
Much love, 

John F.

P.S. Dallas Willard has truly formed my view of discipleship and I have a few of his books on myrecommended reading list.

TheGreat Omissionis perhaps his most poignant book on discipleship.